TL;DR

• The platforms trained us to create content for free while they profit from our attention. And most of us spent years believing we were ‘building our business’ while actually stocking someone else’s casino with free entertainment.
• Here’s what changes everything: you don’t need the algorithm to deliver your people to you. You’ve already collected them. Those thousands of connections are already there. You just need to start talking to them.
• This post is the case for why conversation-first strategy is the only game worth playing — and exactly what to do this week to start.

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You're doing everything right and it's still not working.

You post consistently. The content is good... you know it is. You've spent years building this presence. And yet some account with obvious AI slop gets 10x your engagement.

What the actual fuck is happening?

It feels like you’re in a chicken suit, dancing around on fire while screaming into a megaphone... and your followers still aren’t seeing you. But they’re definitely noticing ‘Susie’ over there with her obviously AI-generated nonsense.

It’s frustrating. It’s 100% completely unfair.

And here’s what you’re probably thinking but not saying out loud:

“I made an unspoken contract with this platform. I give you content, you give me clients. I held up my end. You broke yours.”

Yeah. That’s exactly what happened.

Here’s What Really Happened

The platforms trained us.

Not just to use their features. They trained us to think like content creators working for them.

They needed content to keep users scrolling. So they taught us that consistent posting equals business growth. They convinced us that reach metrics meant we were building something. They turned us into unpaid content producers for their advertising business.

And we called it ‘building our business.’

The experts who taught us this strategy? They made money teaching platform-preferred behavior... not necessarily running their own businesses this way. They sold courses on ‘cracking the algorithm’ because that’s what the algorithm rewarded, and what tired business owners would pay to learn.

We’ve been working for free. For years. Creating content that keeps users on the platform so the platform can sell ads. And we believed we were investing in our own futures.

That’s not cynicism. That’s just what happened.

It’s a Rigged Game You Don’t Have to Play

In casinos, the house always wins. Because you’re playing in their house, by their rules, with a deck they stacked in their favor. They give just enough to keep you coming back.

Social platforms are no different. Millions of people — including you — consistently creating and posting content for free, while the platform profits from your data and charges you for additional reach.

Imagine spending $500 to attend a conference, then standing in the corner holding a sign that says ‘I help businesses with X’ and waiting. Never approaching anyone. Never starting a conversation. You’d leave thinking: what a waste.

That’s literally what most people are doing on LinkedIn (all social platforms).

Standing in the corner. Holding up their content. Waiting for the algorithm to bring people to them.

While everyone else does the exact same thing.

What You’re Actually Losing (And Why It Hurts)

I know this might feel like mourning. Because it is.

You built something real. Those thousands of connections? The years of showing up consistently? It meant something. It still does... just differently than you thought.

You’re not losing what you built. You’re losing the illusion that the platform was ever going to honor its end of the bargain.

That hurts. It’s supposed to hurt.

You played by their rules. You did what the experts said. And now those rules changed without warning, and you’re supposed to just adapt? Again?

You don’t have to adapt to their new rules. You can stop playing their game entirely.

But Here’s the One Enormous Difference

Social media is not like a casino in one crucial way:

You don’t have to play by their rules on their platforms. You can create your own.

You don’t have to consistently post content for visibility. Or to talk to people.

You could post no content and still connect with people, get seen, and get clients from social media. Not a strategy I’d recommend... content plus conversations builds trust faster... but it can and does work.

Because here’s what you’ve forgotten:

You’ve already collected the people.

Those thousands of connections? They’re already there. They already know who you are. You don’t need the algorithm to deliver them to you. They’re already delivered.

You just need to start talking to them.

What Happens When You Stop Playing Their Game

At first? It’s going to feel weird. Wrong, even. The brain monkeys will scream that doing it this way will fail.

But then people — besides your mum and closest friends — will start chatting with you. And because they’re talking to you, the algorithms will actually start showing your content more often. Conversation feeds the algorithm too. It just doesn’t depend on it.

And you’ll notice you’re actually enjoying yourself. Because you’re having brilliant conversations with cool people. People you picked. People you want to talk to.

It feels good because you’re in control. You’re no longer trusting your fate to a random algorithm. You’re always talking to the right people because you’re choosing them.

None of it is against the rules. It’s just a completely different way of using the same platforms.

Why the Disconnect Happens

We’re going against two decades of conditioning and thousands of experts all saying the same thing: consistently posting content is how you get clients on social media.

One of my favorite things to remind my clients: if you won’t do it in person, don’t do it online.

Think about what you actually do at an in-person networking event or industry conference. Do you stand silently in the center of the room, holding a card over your head, waiting for others to come introduce themselves?

Or do you start talking to people?

We both know the answer. Nobody travels to an event, gets dressed, pays for entry and food and transport, and then stands there waiting.

And yet Option 1 — stand there and wait — is exactly what almost everyone is doing on social media. Which is one gigantic, always-open networking event.

Letting go of that approach? That becomes your unfair advantage.

The Two Ways Forward

Their Way — The Platform’s Rules:

• Create content and hope the algorithm shows it
• Wait for people to find you
• Compete with millions of other posts and AI-generated noise
• Pay for reach when organic fails
• Adapt every time the rules change
• Measure success by likes and impressions
• Keep performing, keep waiting, keep hoping

Your Way — Your Rules:

• Go directly to people already in your network
• Start conversations on their content or send a message
• Build relationships instead of fighting algorithms
• Use content as a portfolio, not a prayer
• Control who you talk to, when, and how
• Measure success by conversations and relationships
• Stop performing. Start connecting.

Your way puts you in the driver’s seat. The only reason you create and post content now is to grow trust and build credibility with your people... to give them a straightforward way to start talking to you, while you’re also going to them. You’re no longer just fulfilling the platform’s agenda and accepting whatever crumbs they give you.

‘But Isn’t That More Work?’

By now your brain monkeys have you thinking: but I don’t have time for conversations with so many people. Isn’t this going to take up even more of the time I already don’t have?

The truth is... you’ve been trained to believe that posting content is efficiency and conversation is a time sink. That’s platform programming. Not reality.

Creating content for algorithmic reach takes massive amounts of time for increasingly diminishing returns. You spend two hours crafting a post, picking the image, optimizing for engagement... and 50 people see it. Maybe three like it. Zero conversations happen.

What if instead you spent 30 minutes having real conversations with 10 people who are actually interested in what you do?

Ten people. Less time. And your comments on their content act as content themselves... visible to their entire audience.

I usually have conversations going with 200 or more people at any given time. If everyone responded immediately, I’d be in trouble. But that’s not how the online space works. We’re not all on at the same time. We don’t respond at the same pace.

In practice, it takes me around 30 minutes to an hour a day to keep conversations moving. At first it might take slightly more because it’s a new way of working. But it rarely takes any more time than you’re already spending on content creation.

And results show up faster. Because you’re not waiting for the algorithm to work in your favor.

Here’s Exactly What to Do This Week

Stop creating new content. Just for this week, stop.

Instead, do one of these three things:

Option 1: Start with your existing network

Click over to your connections or followers. Drop comments onto the content of the last 5 to 10 people you connected with. Not ‘I agree’ or ‘great post.’ Share your experience with the topic. Offer a perspective. Ask a question that deepens the conversation. Leave it open-ended so replying feels natural.

Option 2: Find people who need what you offer

Use the search function to find 5 to 10 people asking for help with exactly what you solve. Then offer personalized advice in their comments. That post you were going to write about finding clients? Take those insights and put them directly into comments from people who are already asking that question.

Option 3: Send direct messages

Go to your connections list. Find 5 people you’ve been meaning to reach out to. Send a real message... not a pitch, not ‘let’s hop on a call.’ Comment on something from their profile. Ask about a recent post. Share something relevant to their work. Start a conversation.

Same time investment. Real conversations with real people who actually want your input.

The Permission You’re Really Giving Yourself

Here’s what you’re actually doing when you make this shift:

You’re giving yourself permission to stop performing. To stop optimizing for reach. To stop caring what the algorithm thinks. To stop measuring your worth by engagement metrics. To stop believing you ‘owe’ the platform anything.

And you’re giving yourself permission to start treating social media like the networking tool it actually is.

You don’t need the algorithm’s permission to talk to people. You don’t need to earn the right to reach your own audience. They’re already there.

The only permission you need is your own... to stop playing someone else’s game and start playing yours.

That’s the Freedom You’ve Been Missing

Let go of the stress and worry over what the algorithms are doing. Focus on achieving your goals, your agenda. Just have conversations... with people.

It’s what helped me genuinely find joy in social media again. Because it stopped being a necessary evil. It became a wonderful place to meet people — your people — on your own terms, in your own time.

It’s like being set free from a cage. Like moving out of your family home and starting to live by your own rules.

That’s the freedom that’s been waiting for you.

Your Move

Pick 5 people. Start 5 conversations. Not ‘when you have time’ — this week.

Come back and let me know how it goes. And if the brain monkeys start chattering too loudly, drop a comment — I’m here.

You’ve already built what you need. Now you just need to actually use it.

Not sure which 5 people to start with?

That's exactly the problem Find Your 40 solves. In two 90-minute sessions over 14 days, we identify the specific 20-40 people already in your network who are most likely to lead to clients, referrals, and open doors... with context on why each one matters and a Next Steps Map so you know exactly who to contact first and how. Stop guessing. Start with the right people.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I get clients from social media without relying on the algorithm?

Stop waiting for the algorithm to deliver people to you and start going directly to the people already in your network. You’ve spent years collecting connections — they’re already there, they already know who you are. The shift is from broadcasting content and hoping the right people see it, to choosing who you want to talk to and starting those conversations directly. Comments on their content, direct messages, genuine follow-ups on previous conversations. No algorithm required.

Is conversation-first strategy actually more time-efficient than posting content?

For most service professionals, yes — especially when measured by results per hour. A post can take two hours to create and reach 50 people, most of whom scroll past. Thirty minutes of intentional conversation can put you in front of 8 to 10 people who are genuinely interested in what you do — and those comments become visible to their entire audience too. The math isn’t close. The adjustment period at the start might take slightly more time as you build the habit. After that, most people find it takes less.

Won’t I look desperate or pushy if I reach out to people directly?

Only if the message is about you. A direct message that opens with a genuine observation about their work, a question about something they shared, or a piece of content relevant to a conversation you’ve had — that’s not desperate. That’s attentive. The messages that feel pushy are the ones that immediately angle toward a pitch or a call. Conversation-first means the relationship is the point, not the transaction. Start there and the rest follows naturally.

What if I don’t know which people in my network are worth talking to?

That’s the most common starting point — a large network with no clarity on who actually matters. The answer isn’t to talk to everyone. It’s to identify the 20 to 40 people where an intentional relationship creates the most compounding opportunities: potential clients, referral partners, collaborators, people who already have access to your ideal clients. Find Your 40 is built specifically for this — a 14-day process that takes a scattered network and turns it into a prioritized, actionable list.

Does this approach still work if my following is small?

Often better than it works for large followings. A small, engaged network of real relationships outperforms a large audience of passive followers for trust-based, high-ticket service businesses. The people who refer you, introduce you, and open doors for you aren’t your most engaged followers — they’re the people who actually know your work. Those relationships are built through conversation, not content volume. Size of audience is irrelevant. Depth of relationships is everything.